Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Felix is 6 Today!

Dear Felix,

You are a big boy now and I guess that means that you and Lars' blog needs to be written in my words, not the words I'd like to think the two of you are thinking. Although its very cute to think of you two authoring a blog together, the time has come for me to do a little growing up, just like you are doing.

There are pictures that have sat on my desktop of you and your brother at Passover Seder with the Schwartz family and me, that I've been meaning to post for months. I will do it as soon as I wish you a very happy birthday.

6 years ago at 5:12pm I swear the world stopped for a second so I could watch you take your first real breath. It was only me & you. Sometimes I feel so far away from you but you & your brother changed my life forever. My only hope is that you grow up & know that you are loved by me. Every day I pray that I become a better mother, the best mother I can possibly be. I'm trying. I am not always as patient as I would like to be, and sometimes how well-behaved you guys are lends itself to me thinking you're more grown up than you actually are. Things are hard for Mama and when you're both with me, I'm all alone. I know you have all the love, support, resources and family you could ever need when you are with your dad but the bond I share with you and your brother, its unbreakable to me. I have no choice but to love you and even if I had a choice I'd never stop.

With All My Love,

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